


Dead On Arrival

by Marvel_or_Bust



Category: Avengers, Marvel
Genre: F/M, Reader Insert, Winter soldier oneshot, bucky Barnes fan fiction, marvel fan fiction, winter soldier - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-11
Updated: 2018-01-11
Packaged: 2019-03-03 16:35:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13345158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marvel_or_Bust/pseuds/Marvel_or_Bust
Summary: What if When Bucky gets his metal arm and super serum enhanced body, you're put in charge to train him to control it all.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I’ve been struggling with this story forever and then I literally wrote 8,000 + words in three days. Here’s the first one...

You rub your forehead pausing a moment to listen to the grunts and yells echoing around you, then drag a hand across your face. You had been at this for a while and because you would rather be alive than dead, this is what you had stooped to. 

"Again." You hear the command barked from another person in the room. You squeezed your eyes closed for the millionth time today.   
A young man not far from you, covered in sweat and dirt rose to his full height using the supporting concrete wall as a crutch. He wore only thick black combat pants with a few bandages dangling from his left shoulder and stubble was sprinkled around his chin. His blue eyes wandered to you before shifting to his target. 

"AGAIN!" The voice in charge spat, louder this time. You’ve been there long enough to have been accustomed to it yet it still made you flinch. The room was still, thick with musk and the scents of cleaning chemicals. The man in the center of it all took a shaky step forward, his head lobbing from side to side. The bandages wound around his left arm and covering his torso dripped with a mixture of blood, sweat and whatever currently coated the floor. 

Nervously you bite your nails,  
"Calm down, give him a second." You whisper keeping your eyes on the man looking over at you hopelessly. 

"Do you dare question my orders?" The question comes out like a venomous hiss, tearing your gaze away from the wounded. 

"I'm not questioning your- I - you've simply ran him rugged! It's basically his first day moving about- unassisted, with his new found strength. Not to mention, having one fully functioning arm, sir." You swallow. You steal a glance quickly meeting the eye of the doctor hoping he would agree with your statement. 

"I believe he'll regain control of the limb in no time." The doctor spoke calmly with a nod, "He's an intelligent one.” He points a  
Bony finger towards you, “- and with you assisting-"

"No he's not, doctor, he's an animal. Animals have no intellect. Just blindly obey their masters every whim." The admiral spoke folding his arms behind his back and turning around. He faced away from you now, knowing the gears in his head were already turning. 

You took a deep breath, “He has to have some intelligence or else there would be no reason for this rigorous training. I'm only speaking the truth- sir." You were becoming bold. Too bold. Speaking that much, what in the world were you thinking? He squints raising an eyebrow. You let out a soft sigh of relief which is short lived when your head is jolted backwards. You should have known better than to let him out of you line of sight. The admiral had yanked you by your hair maneuvering you to face him.

"I don't have to have your kind here child. You do know we hate your type? Your skin color alone is unnatural, an abomination! You are a foreigner here. A weak and pathetic woman. The only reason you live and breathe is because the doctor believes in your ability to assist in the adjustment and assimilation of the soldiers. That is all, to me you'll always be an animal. Perhaps lower than the soldier here. Mark my words, when you are no longer needed I will personally take your life myself-“ swiftly he tossed his frame around yours, stroking a razor blade against your cheek. He would not draw blood- yet. “-without breaking a sweat or shedding a tear. Understood?" He finished his speech through gritted teeth. 

"Understood." You gasp, 

"I hope I will not have to remind you again."

You nod, turning to face the poor man facing you. Even with his hair- dirtied and long shadowing his brow, You can see his eyes dart from you to the others . You follow his gaze downward watching his hands clench into fists. Looking down at your own hands you notice he is mimicking your body language. You approach him quicker than either of you had anticipated.   
"Soldier. Relax. Look at me, relax."  
You bring your fingers around toward him slowly smoothing back his stringy hair from his vision. He flinches then is still, letting you know it is ok to proceed. "You have to concentrate."

"I can't." He says, it is what he always tells you. His eyes were red and his unwashed face was streaked where tears had been. You face the others as the spectators begin to file one by one out of the room.   
“Why do you let him talk to you like that, doll?" He scoffs, folding and arm across his torso watching you move around him. His voice as muddled and low. 

You ignore his question, "Of course you can soldier. Deep breath." You use your hands as you speak,  
making exaggerated movements  
to distract yourself from the earlier events. 

"Where are we? Why am I here?" He looks around still only softly muttering his words. You had been with him for a month. A month of his words chipping away at your resolve. A month of him questioning, begging, and even pleading for something- anything from you. You were beginning to think you weren’t as strong as you had believed you were, to have made it this far was a miracle within itself.

"You had an accident but you're better now." Your fingertips graze his side, securing his bandages. 

"Control your ward, Handler." A soldier enters, taking post beside the only way out of the enclosure. 

"What's going on?" The bandaged mans eyes are glued to yours. He's taking in every twitch and movement. Try as you might, you couldn’t get it together today. The admirals words and actions had done more than just frightened you. 

"We are rehabilitating you. I am your Handler." You rest your hand on your chest giving him your most convincing warm and comforting smile. 

" That’s not your name." He speaks, raising his voice a bit higher than before. It was hard to tell what conscience you were speaking to without any definitive tell-tell signs. You had forgotten that the name ‘Handler’ was not what you had first introduced yourself as when you first met, You needed to pay better attention.   
"My name is y/n but I also go by Handler and this is what you'll call me. I am here to help you." You smile wider feeling a bead of sweat slide down from your hairline.   
He seems to accept it until,  
"No ones fucking speaking English?!" He spits running a hand down his face. 

"I am." you near him fighting the urge to reach out and hold him. He looks so innocent and afraid. Why was he affecting you like this today. “Calm down."

The doctor bursts through the white  
doors with the admiral hot on his heels.   
"His heart rate it spiking. Bring him back!"

"Where's Steve?"

"Who is Steve?" You question taken aback by the resurfaced memory. 

“I- Y/n!"

"Oh my god! WHERES MY ARM?!" He breaths heavily grabbing at the wires and machines connected to his left shoulder, running into the soiled bandages of his new appendage. "WHAT IS THIS?!” He shoots up, “WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME?!" He screeches stumbling against the table of medical instruments causing them to crash and scatter across the tiles. He tears and pulls at the material exposing the foreign limb. His artificial arm moves robotically, completely uncontrollable while his thoughts scatter. 

"Look at my eyes!" You dart towards him, grabbing at his shoulders while armed men file in, restraining his arms waiting for further commands. His eyes are wild. He begins thrashing more as his temperature rises, pushing back the agents holding onto him . "LOOK AT ME  
SOLDIER!" You grab his jaw, he clamps his metal hand around your wrist. You cry out at the pain as he twists it backwards. Someone grabs  
You from the side, hoping to keep you still enough so your arm does not break. 

No matter how much James tries to let go he is unable. The guards surrounding are unsure what to do. He curses as you continue screaming. He uses his flesh  
hand to pull back on the cold metal fingers. The cold and hard digits slip through his own sweaty  
ones.   
"Please! Let go, James!" As the name leaves your lips a sharp sting to your face knocked you to the ground. In his confusion,  
He had let you go. James stares at the raw marks left on you from his new hand in horror. He steps backwards into the arms of more soldiers moving him towards a metal chair. He watches as the guard that  
had been holding onto you  
was scolded and dismissed. You begin to pick yourself up off the floor, hearing the admiral spit foreign words at you. You nod slowly spitting a mouthful of blood to the side. James pays the men no mind while they move and twist his stiff limbs into the leather binds around his hands and feet. "I'm sorry,...y/n. Im so sorry...can't control it."

The doctor straightens his coat  
facing the others in the cramped room.   
"That’s alright, soldier. Let's start again shall we?"

\--------

"Y/n I don't have to remind you of why you are here do I?"

"No sir."

"What is your job here?"

"To make the process of the soldiers acceptance of the mind wipe program and to a winter soldier a smooth one." You recite, rubbing you freshly wrapped wrist. 

"Yes. So imagine my surprise when you mention the assets actual name. Keep in mind child, there can be no words for this mans past. This includes family, friends, places. All of these trigger memories. When these surface all our reprogramming becomes void and we must start again causing setbacks. Setbacks cost money. And if you mess with my money-"

"I know. Believe me sir, it will never happen again."

"Good. Glad to hear it. If you slip up like this again y/n-"

"I won't. I'll make sure of it."

“Whatever has gotten into you,  
Handle it. Suddenly you’ve grown a conscience.. or perhaps you’ve turned to religion?”

“I don’t know.. I -“

“You? Yes? Speak!”

A moment of weakness nothing more.”

“Weakness. Ha, there’s no place for that here. Shall I inform the admiral?”

“No! Not necessary. I can assure you that was the last time.”

“Come my dear pet, walk.” He trailed behind you, Resting both Hands upon your shoulders, “either way, if you’re trying to find redemption for the things you’ve done, certainly there is no God here.”

\-------------


	2. Chapter 2

\-------------

"Soldier can you hear me?" You give him a once-over, noticing he has been cleaned up, atleast bathed. 

"Yes."

"Good. How are you feeling?" You tilt your head in attempt to meet his line of sight which was presently aimed at the floor. 

"Fine." 

You scribbled down a few notes turning towards him.   
"Good. I'm going to ask- tell you, to follow some commands for me with your bionic limb." You point with your pen. 

"What?"

You laugh softly making James smile at you, blushing lightly. You catch yourself and clear your throat, “Your metal arm."

"Yes ma'am." He nods his head presenting his arm towards you. You were content knowing not only he had been cleaned up but also that he seemed to be in good spirits. An complete turn around from your last interaction just a week ago.   
"You don’t have to call me ma'am." You say low, preparing your cleaning tools on the table before you. 

He leans inward, "I know,  
I don't have to..." he says matching your volume. His eyes skim over you examining his arm. You move a few plates then wipe it down. 

“That should do it.” You go to hand him the pen and he picks it up with his flesh hand. You shake your head taking it from his grasp.   
"Remember I want you to use the metal one."

He slowly reaches his arm out while the metal plates whirl and clink quietly. The movement is mesmerizing. Never had you seen such an intricate work up close. The others there had been tortured, mind wiped and trained like him yet there was something different- a shred of humanity holding on for dear life. Looking at him he sees your expression of amazement and awe. His grip tightens on the plastic ball-point, snapping it in half. 

ink splatters across the table, making you jump. "Soldier?" You question looking for something to wipe up the mess 

"Ma'am." He gulps, the stitched up cuts and bruises lining his chest to shoulder let you know he had already been seen by the doctor. His gaze meets yours. You hear the platelets of his bionic arm shifting again. 

"Yes soldier?"

"What's your name?"

"You've never had a question for me before,” you smile uncomfortably, swallowing,  
“-where I do not have one for you."

"You're avoiding it."

"How do you know that I am?”

"Your leg is shaking." His eyes shift  
to under the table.

"Very stuit observation"

"what do I call you? Can I call you anything?."

"Of course. Call me anything you'd like. But I get to do the same, yes?" You could not tell if he was playing games or serious. 

He mulled it over. "I don't know what I want to be called. I like the name Bucky. It sounds- familiar..."

"Ok. That seems like a nickname, Bucky.” You look cautiously over your shoulder towards the two way glass,  
“What would you want to call me?"

"I'd like to know the name of the woman who I'm thanking.”

“Thanking? For-“

“I feel like You help me....a lot." 

You look away feeling guilt wash over you. 

"You're gentle and kind, give me  
praises which I don't deserve."

"Now I wouldn't say all that...it's you alone doing so well with your rehabilitation and-"

"I'm a stranger in my own skin! I'm stumbling through the halls and breaking everything."

You rested a hand on his arm, "Don't be so hard on yourself." You take it back immediately. You had not heard anyone enter the room so either they wanted to see whatever this was unfold or no one was watching the cameras. 

"I walked through a plaster wall yesterday!" He lets out an airy  
laugh and you can't help but laugh along with him. These were moments you lived for, when he sounded like you believed he would, if you had met him before all this.   
"You aren't the first nor the last. It just takes some getting use to." You relax hunching over to clean the ink off his arm. "Trust me it just takes time. And the other soldiers they call me Handler. Atleast that's what I've come to answer by."

"Funny. You look more like.. one of those fancy names like Willamina. I don’t know!” You laugh a bit, though the name had a nice ring to it.   
“Handler is not what the leader calls you."

You hesitate for a second, resuming your job,  
"Because I'm not his handler. I'm yours."

"Where are these other soldiers you talk about? I only ever see you and me with the occasional guards."

You lean back taking a shaky breath   
"They are sleeping."

"Does he call you by the name you were given?"

"Y- yes. He does."

"What does he call me?"

"The Asset."

He lets out a scoff, “That sounds ridiculous." He lays back in the chair observing the tinderness you display while finishing up. 

A snort escapes you, shaking your head, “Yeah, That's what you said last time."

He sits up abruptly, "Wait we've had this conversation before?" Your lack of response causes him to yank his arm away from you, as if pained.

You frown realizing your error.   
"My apologies.” You respond meekly, “ I must have you mixed up with someone else. I am almost finished fixing your arm."  
You become silent and he has an inner conversation with himself.

"No you said before. We've had this conversation before." His chest was heaving. "You're name is y/n. Isn’t it? Do I know you? My name is James. James Buchannon Barnes and I'm from the 107th-“

Now you were really in for it. You were suppose to treat every day the same. Nothing that would bring up any memories or trigger past times- when James was what seemed to be himself, were a bit difficult. Others, when he was becoming a monster, those the days were calmer to say the least. After reciting his usual spiel, He began chewing his bottom lip.

"It was my mistake sometimes I get confused.” You stutter, “please calm down."

He slowed wrinkling his brow.   
"Why are you so nice to me? You don't know me. I'm a prisoner here.”

"Because it is my nature...my job."

"You don't seem too sure about that."

"It's how I get to sleep at night."

"I don't understand."

"You will."

\-------------

"What happened?!?" You exclaim shooting up from your seat in the interrogation room.

"Clean him up he's weak!" The others release him into your care dragging hims across the room. It had been weeks since you saw him last. When compared to the others you had missed James.   
He is too exhausted to support his own weight falling face first to the floor.   
You growl pulling his face up to yours, “Look at him he's knocking on deaths door."You look at his swollen eye lids whipping out a flashlight shining in into his pupils. 

"Watch your tone...Handler."

"Yes....sir." You sarcastically respond, lifting one of James arms over your shoulder batting away at the guards. "Shh.." you whisper when he whimpers at the movement. "come on, I’ve got you."

One of the guards grab your elbow,  
You wait for the pain from his grip but it doesn’t come. You look at him searching his face. 

“Hey, let me help.”

No one has ever attempted to assist you before let alone willingly speak to you. “Wha-“

“Hey,! What the fuck are you doing man?!” You heard spoken from behind,

The young man beside you let go of your arm. He placed his gun to its holster, trading it for a free set of hands. You looked at the stranger. He met your eye just once before gripping the asset and hanging an arm over his shoulder. “Shit. Heavier than he looks.” He mutters, his white teeth peeking out from his smirk. 

You’re bought back to reality when you hear another voice, “Garret, do you know what will happen if-“

“Surely this won’t be a problem if I assist her..” the guard looked back to his partner then his attention shifted to you, “after all, if anything were to happen to the asset, that could have been prevented...”

You nod, letting him help you. 

"Need not get attached, Handler.” The other guard spoke to you, “there will come a time where he may bite the hand that feeds him."

You slow your pace facing him,  
"I am simply tending to his wounds.” You begin, “He's no good to you dead, am I right? He can't take care of himself in this state. I'll put him in the bath then take him to the doctor.”

"Good. See that you do."

\-----------

"Hey, I remembered something today." James rasped over his shoulder . He hadn't spoken since you got him into the tub. That had been two hours ago. The guard who went by the name Garret, stayed positioned just outside the door. You sat beside the tub James was currently soaking in, with the ice floating around his form. It wasn't easy stripping him of his gear and sticking him in. They had him outdoors this week for training. His skin had gained a light tan. His taunt chest and smooth hips had your eyes floating over them more than once. You had to fight yourself to keep your gaze from drifting farther down. 

Is that so, care to share with the class?" You smoothed your hair back feeling the cold water begin to seep through your own clothes. A small price to pay for having to pull him into the tub yourself. 

"I think my name- and don't quote me on this, is Bucky." He rested his hands on the sides of the tub deep in thought. You were able to tell now the difference between the asset, James and what he was when he was in between. James had more an an carefree and sarcastic personality. 

You sat unmoving dropping a sponge you had deep into the cold water. Your eyes met his causing you to get up and move away. He let out a sigh retrieving the sponge.   
“It's ok I don't bite. I know you're trying to help me.”

"I didn’t mean to drop it. Just. So Bucky huh?

"I know right?” He laughs and it catches you off guard. How could someone like this become such a weapon? “I mean out of everything I could remember.."

You clear your throat giving an airy laugh taking the sponge from James hand. "Have you talked to the doctor about-"

"NO. No... I....wanted to keep this between us." He leans close gripping your hand on the side of the tub. The water sloshes against the metal container when his clammy hand engulfs your own. His blue eyes bore deep holes into yours. His voice comes out more like a whisper. “I feel like you aren't the same as the others. like I- like I can trust You.." you nears his face praying this would not be how you die, finding a bit of comfort that a guard stood outside the door.  
"I'm starting to feel less and less like myself. It's harder for me to remember much anymore. Except this place and your pretty face."

"A flirt now?” You lean aways from him, studying your breathing. “I really think it would be good for you-"

"You don't understand...just please y/n-"

"Ahh!” You push a hand over his mouth, “don't you-Don't you ever speak my name!" You say slightly above a whisper. "You will get us both in trouble or killed. Atleast me." You slowly move your hand away from his mouth glancing towards the door.   
"I have been learning the language here. It's difficult but I wanted to know what you all were talking about."

"Who else knows?" You look up at him, fear evident on your face.

"No one. I’m always alone, separated.” He notices you staring off and grabs your attention, “Hey calm down. Don't worry about me. Sometimes I wake up and I don't remember where I am or how I got there. "

"That will happen from time to time... with the training."

"With all the shit that goes on here how did someone like you end up here?"

"It's a long story, soldier. Besides I need to get you out and down before we're both in hot water."

“Hopefully you’ll trust  
Me enough to tell me...”

It took Garret to lift him completely as you moved about getting fresh clothing and bandages.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think in the comments below and thanks for reading!!

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading and let me know what you think in the comments below.


End file.
